top of page

Congratulations to America for Protecting Same Sex and Interracial Marriages . . . Again.

Updated: Jan 7

Interracial marriage

In analyzing the need for the Respect for Marriage Act, Americans can take away powerful insights and next steps.

Today a Biden administration campaign successfully culminated in Congress passing the Respect for Marriage Act. It forces states to recognize marriages entered into across state lines. It was created in light of Supreme Court justices and republican senators suggesting the Supreme Court should toss Loving v. Virginia after the Court did the same to Roe v. Wade, along with speculation its gearing up to overturn Obergefell v. Hodges.

It was a necessary move, one already being celebrated by liberals. I should qualify that I am neither liberal nor conservative, instead observing politics for what it is, makeup that conceals the transfer of power from all to a few. While Biden should be congratulated for coming full circle on DOMA, the law is profoundly surprising for an entirely different reason.

It was only a decade ago that Barrack Obama was elected president and racism was all but declared dead by the mainstream. How did we get from there to needing to pass laws to codify what was already codified in the Full Faith and Credit clause of the Constitution? When answering this question objectively and wholistically, it reveals deeply insightful conclusions about how we can use the events of the past six years to fuel improvements across the country.

Old wounds run deep. Attempting to treat the symptoms while masking the underlying conditions no longer works.

In the six years since Obama left office, a series of shocking events have made it abundantly clear that racism is not only alive and well, it was being concealed on a level that left the average American shocked. To be surprised by its resurgence makes sense given America’s preferred method of healing is to chemically mask the symptoms and rest the affected area until the underlying issue goes away.

The problem with that method is the issues always tend to come back, then it’s back to the doctor for another prescription. In this case the issue was slavery. When you rip someone’s ancestors from their home worlds full of kingdoms, rich cultures, and land based spiritual systems and replace it with subjugation and torture as the new normal, you can’t just say I’m sorry, you can have your basic rights now and we promise not to take them away in the future.

It's straight folly to think that would work. Science has proven that what we inherit from our ancestors goes far beyond our physical features. DNA is essentially software programming for our entire experience of reality. A part of that software program includes the experiences of our ancestors, recorded in DNA and genetically passed on to each generation.

American slavery didn’t just happen hundreds of years ago, it’s as real today for descendants of slaves as the Trail of Tears is for descendants of Indigenous Americans. Just as the descendants of American slave owners doubtless inherited a genetic predisposition of superiority over other races. We also know that our DNA informs how our brain is hardwired to receive its genetic software. On top of this, most people have no idea that their DNA is doing this or how it affects their body and the chemicals generated by their brain. That adds up to a tough experience for members of both sides of the issue, and that’s not even all of the problem.

“I laugh, there’s a certain kind of cyclical nature to life and I don’t have to worry because whatever isn’t there right now, it’s coming back again.” ~ Walter Mosley

Even as scientists race to reduce all of existence to an equation, the scientific evidence will only be proof of what yogis and sages have said for millennia. Life is a pattern that repeats itself while the individual components frequently change. The Buddha said the true nature of reality is that everything is constantly changing.

When you put those together we get what we see playing out in front of us. Everything that is happening has happened already, even in some of our lifetimes. We’re just seeing it played out in a different way. The thing that’s most surprising is the speed at which this latest shift took place. We are approaching six years from Obama’s departure from office and boy have things changed.

Alan Watts sagely said, “you are the universe experiencing itself.” This is evident in the way all our human systems reflect the rotations and mechanisms of the cosmos. Strangely enough, 2016 is when the Earth began to rotate faster. Since then it seems the speed at which humanity does everything has kept pace with the planet. 2016 also marked the rise of Trump’s historic upset.

Washington is a carefully manufactured house of cards. Obama shook its foundation by his very election, but his outsider status and lack of allies didn’t allow him any room to maneuver. A fire was lit. Trump seized on the aftershocks rippling through America and rode the wave of change doing what he does best. Exploiting loopholes and negotiating with his opponents in such a way that they are forced to sign on his terms to even have a chance at being a part of the game.

All of this while America was watching police murder black and brown people on livestreams. Subconscious thoughts buried in dormant ancestral DNA aroused emotions in normally passive people. People realized they didn’t choose this. A life where 2% of humanity holds 98% of the wealth through massive brands and empires built on the broken backs of the dreams of Americans. So why were they stuck living this way? The flames were fanned. Trump blamed black and brown people. It was funny to the black and brown people at first, they didn’t have any power. Surely his supporters would see through his farce and abandon him. Instead they took the bait. Kerosene was dumped on the fire.

There’s a silver lining. But now that the wound has been exposed, we need to strike while the iron is hot.

Trump was a catalyst to rehashing a painful and unresolved issue. In many ways, the first round of drawing lines in the sand and taking sides could be expected, but what happens next is up to Americans. We can decide to give in to fear and pretend we’re separate. Or we can realize what wise men have proclaimed throughout the ages, we are one. All of humanity is on a journey together.

A good thing about humans is that once a problem is identified, they are great at using proven methods to solve that problem. In this situation healing needs to take place. How does that happen? It’s impossible for me to say. As one man, I can’t possibly know what each community member needs to heal. I do know that once that has been identified, we can work on healing it.

How? One suggestion is that our president have a team identify thought leaders in a selection of influential racist and black advancement groups. Speak to the advancement groups separately. Empower them as the commander in chief, to go back to their people and find out what they want to feel their ancestral wounds caused by slavery are being healed. Talk to the racist leadership and find out why they are so racist and learn how to educate them on the true causes of their suffering.

I imagine the answer has something to do with the fact that the American dream was promised to white baby boomers and mid-way through was stolen from them and their progeny right under their noses. Once they’re able to admit this, they can be educated on what really happened and find out how they are more like the people they are pretending to hate. Then we’ll be on the path to laws like the RMA no longer being necessary.

Only after the very large step of identifying the core issues from each affected party can the steps to heal take place.

To give a prescription on how to heal a wound before diagnosing it would be an ineffective form of medicine. The biggest and first step is to have the uncomfortable but necessary conversations to find out what the core issues are. The good news is we don’t have to wait for politicians to show leadership. If we did we may be waiting for a while.

Instead we can have these conversations in our communities. With our neighbors, co-workers, and friends that feel comfortable doing so. How do you know if they’re comfortable? Just ask and respect their answer. If they’re willing to participate, you need to let your guard down and simply talk without judgment or defense. Only then can you get a glimpse of how people who are nothing like you experience reality.

You’ll be shocked at how different the experience is in ways you’d never expect. It’s also fun to stop pretending everyone is like you and simply embrace their changes. It transforms life from a bland experience where you have all the answers, to one where everyone you meet is a brand new adventure. Like taking a journey into a new Netflix series. You’ll be fascinated to see how easily a five minute conversation turns into a binge talk.

Why? Think about when you were a child. How curious were you? As a result of that never ending curiosity, you experienced endless joy and awe at virtually all of life’s experiences and revelations. Remember how easy it was to make friends when you were a child? Is it worth it to start those conversations, see if we the people can’t get this healing started?

bottom of page