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How To Find True Love and Make It Last

Updated: Jan 8

“Love is the bridge between you and everything.” ~Rumi

There’s only one kind of love and experiencing any form of it is equally great. Love is great because love is all things. It’s only our rational mind’s ability to judge things and form conclusions that separates us from experiencing the love innate to everything. Once we retrain ourselves to do this, finding the love of your life is easy, if that’s still what you want to do at that point.

Once you’ve found that sort of love, there’s a good chance you may not want that anymore. This sort of love changes you. You begin to reprioritize your life and follow your passions. You no longer feel the need to judge and label people and things and instead you open yourself up to experiencing life free from the burden of expectations.

Are expectations a bad thing? At a certain point they can be. Reality is being generated from within us. To the extent we have an expectation of how something or someone should be, we limit the options of what the experience could be. Love is an unlimited experience.

To access something that unlimited you can’t rely on your intellect, logic, and reason as most people do when looking for love. As powerful as they are, they aren’t the right tools for the job. We do have another tool much better equipped to handle this job. With a few simple steps you can wield this tool to find love and change your life in ways you never imagined were possible.

“Because the greatest love of all is happening to me. I found the greatest love of all, inside of me.” ~The Greatest Love of All

We look for love in all the wrong places. While humans always had a tendency to fall for the trap of looking for love outside of themselves, the story of how it has become the normal begins with Madison Avenue and the creation of marketing as an industry.

People have sold things for a long time. The difference is that the marketing industry doesn’t just sell you thinks where you’d expect people to sell you things, like at a market. The marketing industry trained companies to permeate your every waking minute with a new story to believe. They all start the same way. That you aren’t enough, and you need to purchase something to make yourself what you really want to be.

The most effective way to sell something is not to convince someone they want something, it's to convince them they need something. So, they convinced us that buying things will give us the life we want. Buy anything and everything. Having the life you want is the most powerful motivator for most humans. Exposed to these tactics virtually every waking minute for the last few decades, we’ve reprogrammed our subconsciouses to look for love outside of ourselves.

We associate the ability to live the lives we want with our ability to earn dollars which is the farthest thing from reality. That mentality makes corporations richer, but it robs humanity of its greatest treasures: the full use of our impressive suite of gifts and the greatest relationship we could ever have. The relationship of self-love. Not in a cheesy Hallmark movie way, but in a way to harness the power of the unlimited within you. Anyone is capable of it, but first you must learn to control your dormant powers of the subconscious.

“You have all the tools right now to make this day, this moment, happy. The best of these tools is love.” ~Neale Donald Walsch

Our rational mind discerns, it’s how our hunter gatherer ancestors survived and it’s what it evolved to do. It’s one of the key things that makes human beings the unique creators they are. As great as our intellect is, it’s but one tool human beings have at their fingertips. The intellect is a sword and should be used when precision and speed are required.

However, there are better tools to use when it comes to finding love. One such tool is our powerful sense of intuition. While it was much stronger in our ancient ancestors, it also helped them survive. Perhaps even more so than their intellect. As great as we are at using our conscious mind to make judgment calls, when it comes to our intellectual mind against our subconscious mind, the subconscious does the heavy lifting.

Just as we run the show when it comes to conscious brain activity, the subconscious runs the show for unconscious brain activity. The big difference being that cognitive neuroscientists find that 95% of our brain activity is unconscious. The subconscious is a powerful supercomputer that is efficient and effective at doing whatever it’s been programmed to do.

As with any powerful hardware, though, its only as effective as the software that has been programmed into it. The marketing industry is well aware of how the human brain works and regularly funds studies so it can know precisely how to program our subconscious mind. Before you can start using your subconscious mind to assist you in the quest for finding love, you first need to do a little reprogramming of your subconscious. Get it to work for you again, and not the world’s largest corporations.

We are so entangled with so many things outside of ourselves, that it’s impossible for humans to get to know themselves, which is the only path to love.

There are a variety of ways to reprogram your subconscious. There are even advanced techniques that can do it at rapid speeds. To use these you must become effective at the simpler, but still powerful techniques. At the end of the day, you decide the level of commitment you want to make towards building the life you want, but it’s recommended that you undertake any practice for at least 15 minutes twice a day if you want to see results soon.

The true nature of love is unlimited. It’s everything. But our relationship with things has become poisoned. Everyone is always selling something and the programming of our subconscious minds is the collateral damage. We effectively live to work to make money to buy the things we’re programmed to believe we need to live the life we want. Living the life we want is the highest form of true love. It’s what we came to Earth to do, build the life that we want in the material world.

To shift back to the unlimited expansiveness afforded when you experience self-love, a practice of stopping yourself from forming automatic judgments and conclusions should be engaged in. Conclusions limit the possibility of what we can experience. By limiting the possibilities of what can be with our conscious mind, we are telling our subconscious mind to limit our experience of reality.

One of the fastest ways to stop doing this is to create an affirmation or mantra that you say to yourself whenever you find yourself forming automatic conclusions about anything. For instance, if your partner tells you they are out of an ingredient you need to make your famous chili at every store that sells it, and you find yourself thinking you won’t be able to make your chili, stop yourself by saying “there are unlimited options in this situation”.

The only thing that is inevitable is the moment. The future is always unlimited possibilities. In addition to saying your mantra when you find yourself forming automatic conclusions, you should also chant it while attaching an emotion of gratitude or joy for the fact that life is unlimited and that you are an unlimited being.

Put it on a sticky note at your desk and remind yourself throughout the day. Put it on another note in your bathroom mirror to remind you after you wake up and before you go to sleep. The marketing industry never stops trying to program your subconscious so the more you can consciously reprogram it, the better.

“Love is your quality. Love is not what you do, love is what you are.” ~Sadhguru

You may be wondering what love is? Is it worth all the trouble of reprogramming my subconscious to get to it? Love is literally all that is. You’ve likely experienced glimpses of it. When you let go of everything and just lived consciously in a single moment after a single moment. Love is raw power, like the universe flows through you and to you all at once. Love is the ability to create whatever you want and the discernment to know what to create. But it starts with knowing who you really are. Once you find that out it’s impossible not to love yourself. To do that, you must reprogram the supercomputer that is the unconscious mind to begin to look inwards for love and not at everything around you, be it people or things. Once you know yourself and the love that you are, finding a romantic partner that you can experience “true” love with won’t be hard. In fact it will be hard not to see the love in everyone. Imagine what it will be like once your subconscious is always looking at everyone and everything as unlimited potential. You will by definition become unlimited.

There are levels to everything, but if you are committed to finding the highest level of love, you can live life so exuberantly that you will be the very expression of love. At that point, finding a long-term romantic partner will be easy, but you’ll love yourself so much, you may not want anyone outside of yourself interfering with that relationship.

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